The only way a marriage can work is by putting your spouse and their needs above your own. This is a simple statement, but with a far more difficult follow through. With half of marriages ending in divorce, marriage is a commitment that needs to be taken very seriously. It is not about how you feel about each other, or how good that person makes you feel about yourself, but it is about a decision that you make to commit and promise to love, honor and take care of your spouse emotionally, physically, and spiritually, whatever your beliefs may be. A marriage is not about you; it is about the promise.
While every marriage situation is unique in their own way, the majority of them stem from the same basic sets of issues: communication, stress, selfishness, and emotional and physical abandonment. If these main areas are not taken care of in a relationship, the relationship will begin to break down. It will become harder and harder to fix the longer it is swept under the rug, because after a while each person will begin to develop resentment towards each other, which is one of the hardest relationship issue to work through, since it is such a deep rooted emotion.
The only person you can ever completely rely on is yourself, which means that if you care enough about the relationship, you will have to put your cares and feelings aside in an effort to find out what you can do for partner. This is not easy, nor will it ever be, but you must realize that if each of you are waiting for the other to make changes, the only guarantee you have is that it will likely take a really long time to reach a conclusion.
Your main goal is to get to a point with your partner where you both can be open about the problems each of you are having with the relationship, and discussing different strategies of reaching a solution. If you get to the point where each of you can be open and honest, but still cannot agree on a solution, then your best option is to talk about meeting with a counselor, or someone you both may trust to share your thoughts, feelings, and struggles. Another great option that is an easy transition, that does not involve physically meeting with someone, is online marriage counseling. This is a great option because it completely disarms the excuse of your partner thinking a counselor will take sides. It allows your partner and you to work through things together, and to not worry about your feelings of obligation to perform exercises in front of someone that you may feel uncomfortable.
Whatever option you choose, make sure that you have an open mind, and never give up, because there is hope in any situation.
write by Anwar Mumumed
